Everyone loves a good relationship-based reality show designed to ruin lives and exploit emotional trauma, right? Well, that was too cutting edge for 2008, but all the rage in 2018. Let’s just pretend Ex on the Beach existed in 2008/2009. These are the people I think MTV would transplant from The Real World or The Challenge onto the show.
Unlike other MTV shows, MTV loved throwing Challenge alum onto EOTB, and that’s not stopping soon. If the show existed ten years ago, there would have been a lot of hook up and exes to pick from. At the time, The Duel 2 and The Ruins were airing and filming. Real World Cancun was wrapping and Real World rejects were being contacted about Fresh Meat 2.
This is a little throwback to fill in some space until Challenge 34 airs. It’s just for fun, and not designed to air any dirty laundry. So don’t expect any shocking hook up secrets here. Here are five people I think who’d get cast, who their exes would be, and who wouldn’t make an appearance on the beach.
Jenn was a big name back in 2009. A former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and a Challenge flirt, MTV would cast her without hesitation. Ex #1 would be Alex from her season, but the real shocker would come when her second ex shows up: Rachel. In 2009 MTV would take any opportunity to exploit this hook up. I also wouldn’t be surprised to see Colie show up as Alex’s second ex.
Dunbar is one of the cast members who just kept popping up at the end of the 00’s and the early 10’s. He was never a top dog, but he always had some story line. Ex on the Beach might be his chance to take the leading role. His first ex would likely be Paula, because she was the pulse of MTV back then. His second ex would be Ashli, because she’d be cool enough to show up and probably would just want the experience. Then, we might see his real life girlfriend Julie pop up because she had a role on the Sydney season, or they might just bring in Pumpkin from Flavor of Love. Of course, I think Paula would also get exes, but she’s got her own can of worms.
Naturally, we’d want Kellyanne there, but I doubt she’d show up. She wouldn’t want to be associated with Dunbar, and she wouldn’t want to drag Wes onto this show and have her drama aired.
At some point, MTV would want a sloppy gay love triangle on the show… and who better than Ryan?! Ex number one would be Tyler who he hook up with on The Gauntlet 3 and would bring his own pool of drama. Then we’d get Davis who he hooked up with on The Duel 2. Shane would have been his best choice for an ex, but I don’t think he would have returned to MTV at the time.
Will is someone who could have been a big name on MTV in the late 00’s, but he never found his place. On The Real World Hollywood he had a relationship with Janelle from Key West, an interesting twist. Janelle would likely be his first ex with his second being his Real World roommate Britni. I think Will would have been a good personality for this show, and I’m still slightly bitter he never appeared on a Challenge.
Of course, MTV would have extended the invitation to Bananas, who answers every call from MTV with an “I’ll do it!” His first ex would be little Casey who he hooked up with on The Duel and then The Gauntlet 3. He also had a not-secret but off-camera hook up with Trisha from Sydney, so MTV would try to get her on the show. As we’ve learned from Battle of the Exes, MTV will find a random chick and claim Bananas hooked up with her, so he has the potential to bring on some random ex.